Love, Lust, and Laughter

Love Lust And Laughter - 11.15.16

In these sex-negative times, being a sexologist leads to a certain amount of frustration, sadness, and anger. The remedy, and my perfect guest is Veronica Monet! She is an outspoken advocate for sexual self-determination – www.TheShameFreeZone.com – and has been a guest on many major media including CNN, FOX News and the New York Times. Her coaching clients benefit from a potent combination of her training as a Certified Sexologist and Anger Specialist. Her deep empathy comes from much personal work on her own sexual abuse. Dr. Diana and Veronica discussed the challenges of celebrating sexuality in the face of having experienced sexual harassment, abuse, and even rape. What steps can sexual abuse survivors take to feel safe while a self-admitted sexual predator is in the White House? In our culture, sexual pleasure is still a dangerous commodity with dangerous overtones. It might be the first thing we toss overboard during life’s various storms. We might forget that it’s as much a part of us as the need to eat and breathe. Veronica has a message of hope for those who may feel their sexual freedoms are at risk.  

 

Love Lust And Laughter - Ready For Love Radio Your Host & Life Coach Nikki Leigh - 11.01.16

Nikki Leigh, a certified Master Sexpert and Love Coach, guested for Part 2. This time we spoke of Learning to Love Yourself (www.readyforloveradio.com). Preparing for the journey requires looking at the beliefs that are fueling obsessions – or, really, relationships to the self, families, and one’s life. Core beliefs like “I’m damaged; I don’t deserve this; love is not for me,” etc. suggest that people don’t really want to look. Too many believe that the way to get there is by judging and shaming and hating oneself. Nikki knows and teaches that the path from obsession to feelings to presence is not about healing  our “wounded child” or about feeling every bit of rage or grief we ever felt so that we can be happy. She offers an online course that will help: “Learn to Love, Accept, and Respect Yourself.” When you evoke curiosity and openness with a lack of judgement, you will align yourself with beauty and delight and love. Pleasure is a much better place to grow from!

Love Lust And Laughter - 10.25.16

Nikki Leigh is a certified Master Sexpert and a Certified Love Coach – certified by Dr. Ava Cadell’s LOVEOLOGY U. (www.sexpert.com). Nikki is the host and producer of Ready for Love radio on New Visions Radio Network (www.readyforloveradio.com). A big mission for Nikki is helping women with strict, religious backgrounds who feel they can’t or shouldn’t enjoy sex and pleasure. Often religion can be used as a force of oppression; indeed, the Bible has many negative things to say about women and sex. Nikki’s upbringing included such messages…about how women are subservient to men and masturbation is really, really bad. Many religious women feel guilty about enjoying themselves – consequently, they may have trouble truly letting go, surrendering to orgasm. “The pleasure of living and the pleasure of the orgasm are identical. Extreme orgasm anxiety forms the basis of the general fear of life.” ~ Wilhelm Reich. Orgasm is a product of a sexually healthy lifestyle and sexual health is derived from positive sex education!

 

Love Lust And Laughter - 10.11.16

Carl Frankel – www.CarlFrankel.com – and Dr. Diana began the show with a discussion of Donald Trump, sex and boundaries. Here’s an example: A 17-year-old who has been volunteering for the Trump campaign was explaining that Trump’s comments weren’t predatory because they let him do it because he’s a star, and that is a form of consent. Anderson Cooper sought to determine Trump’s ability to mentally process the charges against him. “You described kissing women without consent, grabbing their genitals. You bragged that you have sexually assaulted women. Do you understand that?” Of course, The Donald did not because he is not well in his head; he has a personality disorder. Carl Frankel has many wise things to say about boundaries. How does one avoid violating boundaries? Check-in (“May I?”), and frame opinions as opinions, not as truths. Clear communication around boundaries are necessary in dating, in committed relationships, in BDSM, and in three-somes – to mention only four areas. Please tune-in for stimulating talk! Carl’s book is “Secrets of the Sex Masters.”  

Love Lust And Laughter - 10.05.16

Sheri Winston, author of Succulent Sex Craft – www.IntimateArtsCenter.com – returned to the program. She is witty, wise, uninhibited! Dr. Diana and Sheri had another discussion that was sexually frank and exuberant. Last week in the name of Partner Pleasure, we discussed communication, touch, settings, and dealing with challenges. This week the themes were positivity, fun, orgasms – as well as how to create and then play inside a “conjoined erotic trance.” The experience of orgasm often feels like a burst of pleasure, bliss, emotional and physical release because the amygdala, the fear center of the brain, has taken a nap. A woman needs to feel safe with her man. “Sex pleasure in women is a kind of magic spell; it demands complete abandon; if words or movements oppose the magic of caresses, the spell is broken.” -   Simone de Beauvoir. Sheri explains how she and her partner “run the highlights reel” after lovemaking as a way to lovingly process the experience. They also practice “changing the channel” if something is amiss and they want, with no blame, to change to something that would be more satisfying. Energy sex which can lead to the “conjoined erotic trance,” allows couples to take a vacation from fight-and-flight. Not only is it good for your overall health, it’s like lying on a Hawaiian beach – with orgasms!

Love Lust And Laughter - 09.27.16

Sheri Winston has written Succulent Sex Craft – a book that can help supercharge your erotic life!  www.IntimateArtsCenter.com  Dr. Diana and Sheri discussed her upcoming online class Secrets of Partner Pleasure.  Skillful communication in the bedroom is necessary… and difficult for many. The types and levels of touch: nurturing, therapeutic, sensual, and sexual. Oxytocin is released during interpersonal touch – promoting a feeling of calmness, pleasantness, and mild euphoria. For greater partner pleasure and romance, “set and setting” is essential! Challenges, including anxiety, can arise… Sheri has suggestions for dealing with these, including relaxation exercises. Tune in for inspiration!

Love Lust And Laughter - 09.20.16

 Patricia Lorenz is known internationally for her inspirational writing – including 75 stories in the Chicken Soup for the Soul books (www.PatriciaLorenz.com). We discussed her most recent book “57 Steps to Paradise – Finding Love in Midlife and Beyond.” This program is intended for everyone looking for love – whatever your age, background, dating history, or sexual preferences. Patricia’s book will help you navigate the process. She provides a heap of wit and wisdom to help your make life-changing decisions. This is a woman who has cherished her struggles, making her strong and resilient. Patricia’s advice: Keep your options open and do it! Don’t give up. Listen for more inspiration!

 

Love Lust And Laughter - 09.13.16

Dr. Lori Buckley – www.DrLoriBuckley.com – returned to the program. Her book is “21 Decisions for Great Sex & A Happy Relationship,” available on AMAZON. For this show edition we did not talk about sex…This is unusual for us – as friends and colleagues! We spoke about loss: the ending of a relationship – whether through death, divorce, or the ending of a committed, romantic coupleship. Dr. Lori lost her partner Alan six months ago in a Thailand traffic accident. Dr. Diana’s late husband Charlie died a number of years ago of a heart attack – one that was totally unexpected.  Dr. Lori’s healing journey has been profound, transforming; what she knows for sure is “Cherish every moment!” Don’t just say Carpe diem, but declare Carpe vitam – seize the life! Both of us are now familiar with grief – personally and clinically. Leaning toward – not away – from the pain will help you heal. To lean toward the pain, when you are feeling bad, stop and allow yourself to feel the emotion by talking to someone or writing about it. Sadness makes you more rational, your thinking more concrete. Accepting sadness can, ironically , lower depression. While you never look for grief, it’s one of the hugest growing experiences you’ll ever have. It deepens you as a human being. Please listen to this show. Dr. Lori is especially articulate and passionate! You can benefit from the wisdom gleaned.

Love Lust And Laughter - 08.30.16

Sheri Winston is a celebrated sexuality teacher, an award-winning author and a medical professional who brings over two decades of experience as a certified nurse-midwife and gynecology practitioner. Her book “Succulent Sex Craft” is available on AMAZON; but, you’ll also want to check out her website www.IntimateArtsCenter.com. Sheri and Dr. Diana focused on solo-sex – and solo sex skills. While we avoided the word “masturbation,” we acknowledged that it is the primary form of sexual expression. It’s not just for kids or for those in between lovers or for old people who end up alone. Self-pleasuring is a way for all of us to learn about sexual response. Sexual skills are like any other skills; they’re not magically inherited, they have to be learned. Sheri has many tools, as well as many words of wisdom: “The ascent into self love celebrates your desire, hones your abilities and ultimately honors yourself.” Part 2 with Sheri will be on September 27th. Please turn in for both shows – for lots of stimulating information!

Love Lust And Laughter - 08.23.16

Dr. Dudley Danoff, MD, a world renowned urologist, returned to the program for the ninth time. His book is “The Ultimate Guide to Male Sexual Health – How to Stay Vital at Any Age” (www.theultimateguidetomenshealth.com). The main focus of this program was porn-induced erectile dysfunction (PIED). A growing number of young men are convinced that their sexual responses have been sabotaged because their (still developing) brains were virtually marinated in porn when they were teens. The result is often less arousal to sex with a real person. Porn is bad for sex. Besides ED, men can have hang-ups about penis size, can experience PE, ejaculatory difficulties, and have unrealistic expectations. In addition, girls are learning that women’s sexuality exists for the benefit of men; all the while, learning little about what brings them pleasure. A helpful website is www.YourBrainonPorn.com. Listen to this program – and learn a lot! Dr. Danoff is always a wealth of information.