The actress Jeanne Moreau once said, “Age doesn’t protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age.” Valentine’s Day is near -- so Brad Coates and Dr. Diana spoke about the widening gender gap and how this may affect love and relationships. Brad’s research suggests that when it comes to romance, men tend to be the first in and the last out. The #MeToo movement has empowered women, some experiencing more resentment and hostility toward males. In a partnership, the sexual relationship needs to be satisfying a fun! Intimacy is a balm, a connector, a place of surprise, and the redirection of tension into pleasure. We all need more pleasure in our lives! Most women want a man who will treat her kindly; if he does, she will give and forgive much. Men: don’t try to fix it – do try to understand it. Be appreciative and don’t take your partner for granted. If you have a Valentine, make the most of it! Brad Coates is the author of “Divorce with Decency,” 5th Edition, and his website is www.CoatesandFrey.com.   

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Marc Gilmartin quotes the late Jack Morin, PhD: “If you go to war with your sexuality, you’re bound to lose.” Marc Gilmartin (www.marcgilmartin.com) is a licensed mental health counselor, and has worked with men with out-of-control sexual behaviors since 2000. “Working with erotically conflicted men: when desire and disgust collide” is the centerpiece of Marc’s work. In his men’s groups he uses a sexual health approach – guiding clients to manage their out-of-control sexual behaviors and to determine their own vision of sexual health. The group members learn to regulate moods, and keep agreements – among other things. So many come in with shame – knowing little about pleasure, especially sensory pleasure. Please tune in for so much more!

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We’re building toward V-Day. Laura Corn, the author of “101 Nights of Grrreat Sex” (available on Amazon), joined the program. She is the perfect guest to talk about romance! Her books have sold close to 4 million. Laura is curious about erotic formulas: blank + blank = great sex. I like sensual pleasure + playfulness = great sex. Laura’s book is one you do, pulling out invitations/seductions – some for her eyes only, some for his eyes only. Then follow the recipe and have fun! When every sense is stimulated often the lover is able to be more fully in the moment, feeling more alive and sexual. We are creating memories…perhaps this is more important as we age. When I think of my husband and me, I realize we are two experienced people who have a past, yet everything is still possible! A book like Laura’s can help the passion persist. 

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Dr. Charlie Glickman  (www.CharlieGlickman.com) is the co-author of The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure (www.prostatepleasureguide.com). This is a man who knows about prostates! There is much pleasure to be had – given some guidance and an open mind. www.MakeSexEasy.com.  Dr. Diana and Dr. Charlie explored questions about common concerns, what is the prostate, why do men enjoy prostate play, different ways to explore it, and pegging. The female G-spot is similar to the prostate, and for both genders stimulation of these spots, orgasms can be bigger, more full-bodied. We spoke about fears some heterosexual men have about receiving anal/prostate pleasure, fearing that it might make them gay. Dr. Charlie pointed out that sexual orientation is more about who you want to be with, and that’s different than what you want to do. Dr. Charlie offers a half hour free phone consultation. He has spoken to people all over the world…asking what do they want, and how to make it happen. He is a wise and knowledgeable sex and relationship coach. Tune in for more!

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What does a real man look like? Charlie Glickman, Ph.D. speaks about acting like a man in a box. The video on this subject can be found at www.CharlieGlickman.com. He is a sex and relationship coach, a sexuality educator and an internationally-acclaimed speaker. Dr. Diana and Dr. Charlie spoke about the pressure for many men  to “enforce” the box. Doing so may manifest in performance anxiety, erectile problems – and in seeking out distractions like working a lot, drinking too much, having a lot of sex partners, etc. A man can ask, “What turns me on?...What slows me down?” Sex is not about a man’s penis (although porn is totally penis-focused). Great sex involves the entire body – based on leisurely, playful, whole-body sensuality for both partners. Next week we will discuss prostate pleasure and more! Dr. Charlie’s book is The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure. See more at www.MakeSexEasy.com.

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Stephen Snyder, M.D., author of “LOVE WORTH MAKING – HOW TO HAVE RIDICULOUSLY GREAT SEX IN A LONG LASTING RELATIONSHIP,” returned to the program. He and Dr. Diana explored these topics: Can erotic love last? – and, Why men and women don’t understand each other. The good doctor says you don’t need desire to have good sex. Slow down…it’s going to be okay. Dr. Snyder suggests spending time in bed naked doing nothing together. Mindfulness, being aware of your breathing, and of your senses may contribute to a growing arousal. Sex is all about paying attention. She may try to get his attention by showing what she has, who she is. The man, through his behavior, may show what he is capable of doing. In recent times, the power dynamic has shifted, and this is confusing for some men. There’s more, of course, in this fascinating show…Listen in! Dr. Snyder’s website is www.LoveWorthMaking.com.   

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Jessa Zimmerman – www.JessaZimmerman.com – author of “Sex without Stress – A Couple’s Guide to Overcoming Disappointment, Avoidance  & Pressure” returned to the program. This time we focused on “The 9 Phases of Taking the Stress Out of Sex.” Phase 1 is prioritizing intimacy – where it’s not just sex you’re scheduling; rather, it’s a trip to the playground. It’s important to just show up. With this sort of journey, there are no expectations, and you are seeing it as an opportunity to have fun. And, having fun together often fosters desire! There are many benefits derived from the giver-receiver exercises: one is that you need to take care of yourself, the foundation of trust. We also discussed exploring eroticism, her book’s Phase 9, where it is important to take and allow pleasure. Consent is built in to this exercise. Practicing emotional surrender by reminding yourself of what you are especially grateful for in your lover…Be playful and expressive. Laugh!  The articulate, informed Jessa will return in the new year.

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Brad Coates (www.CoatesandFrey.com) and Dr. Diana enjoyed a conversation about America’s growing gender gap between men and women. His book, “Divorce with Decency” Fifth Edition, is a comprehensive treatment of the legal, emotional, economic, psychological, and social aspects of marital relationships. We looked at women’s increasing educational, economic, and political power. Porn is part of the erotic erosion between men and women; in fact, it may be a scapegoat for all the conversations men and women are not having. Couples almost never discuss their sexual desires and fantasies. Man are more likely to soothe themselves by turning to solitary pleasures and paid ones – less emotionally complicated forms of sex. The #MeToo movement has led to further divisiveness with an expanded awareness of the prevalence of abuse/assault. Of course, not all guys are bad dudes! But some women are feeling safer with other women. There’s more…please tune in!   

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The #MeToo movement has brought to light some harsh realities. Where do we go from here? To help make sense off this, Dr. Nancy Sutton Pierce returned to the show. Intimacy seems to be going extinct. Many men cannot integrate closeness and sexual passion. Furthermore, loneliness is on the increase especially among those 15-25 years of age. When there is little face-to-face interaction overshadowed by texting, people do not get the full picture; so, there is more depression and anxiety. And less interconnectivity leads to less oxytocin and more cortisol. How do we make consent more sexy? Use your words before boundaries are crossed…talk about sex before having it. Dr. Nancy’s take-away: get connected in person – otherwise your health and longevity may suffer. www.drnsp.com.   

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Halloween is tomorrow. What are adults getting out of Halloween? Some dress up as their fantasy persona. Does this impact personal sexual behavior? Dr. Nancy Sutton Pierce (www.drnsp.com) returned to the program to help sort this out. Dr. Nancy is a sex and relationship author, an international speaker, and a sensuality educator. Playing out fantasies can help couples with communication, help them be more playful and adventurous. According to a study of people’s sexual fantasies, where more than 4,000 respondents were interviewed, the most common fantasy is multi-partnered sex, followed by power, control, and rough sex; novelty and adventure; taboo and forbidden sex;  and partner sharing and non-monogamy. Many experiment with these fantasies in a harmless manner – often inviting additional communication. Dr. Nancy sees fantasy as entertainment! As a teacher, she is involved with Hedonism (www.hedonism.com) – a resort that can jump-start a fading sexual relationship. Dr. Diana referred to “Nina Hartley’s Guide to Total Sex” which provides some valuable information about three-somes and more. In her chapter “Swinging: Strangers at the Party” Nina observes that by keeping an open mind, you will find out things about yourself or your partner that may surprise you. We discussed this. Dr. Nancy is a voice on Voice Americahttps://radio.thesexylifestyle.com/show/3801/the-conscious-living-show. Please tune in on November 13th for more with Dr. Nancy!

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