Patricia Raskin has interviewed over 5,000 people including Maya Angelou, Jack Canfield and Dr. Memhet Oz. Now Dr. Diana gets to interview her! Patricia is a positive force, so it’s not surprising her internet radio show is all about positive living.  She interviewed me on Voice America three weeks ago about my new book Love in the Time of Corona: Advice from a Sex Therapist for Couples in Quarantine. This morning Patricia gave a Webinar on RESLILIENCE, and these days don’t we all wish for more resilience? Having a high tolerance for ambiguity, knowing how to calm yourself in a crisis, and having weathered adversity in the past all help in coping. FORGIVENESS. Is it harder to repair or forgive past wounds as you age? Patricia’s wise observations include separating out whose issue it was and then, what was my part? We also spoke about finding LOVE in one’s later years. Patricia Raskin is a wonderful catalyst for creating positive change!

Dr. Carol Queen returned to the show for Part 2. The two sex docs had a lively conversation about yesterday’s Supreme Court’s decision affirming that workplace civil-rights protections extend to gay and transgender people. Dr. Carol reported the LGBTQ activists are thrilled! And that there seems to be a dent in people’s denial. Next on the agenda: Exhibitionism for the Shy, a book that Dr. Carol wrote some twenty-five years ago – with an updated version coming soon. Exhibitionism is a consensual erotic pleasure that can help you overcome shyness and body image issues. There are some fun exercises – showing off and exploring different styles of erotic clothing with an eye to what feels sexiest to you. Dr. Carol observes that what you look like to others is not as important as how you feel experiencing eroticism and pleasure. Dr. Carol and Dr. Diana both knew and loved Candida Royalle who died of ovarian cancer in 2015. We reminisced about Candice, and spoke about our friend Nina Hartley. Nina has been a porn star for 35 years and a video sex educator for almost as long, and wrote a blurb recommending my new book, Love in the Time of Corona: Advice from a Sex Therapist for Couples in QuarantineGood Vibrations (www.GoodVibes.com) is promoting Men’s Health Week – including men’s sexual health. Also, visit my new online sex advice column at www.DearDrDiana.com. Please tune in for lots of good information!

 

Our nation is in crisis … This is a scary and uncertain time. Dr. Carol Queen author of “The Sex & Pleasure Book” and Dr. Diana Wiley author of “Love in the Time of Corona” have great solutions for some stress relief! Get to know your partner better and have more sex. Yes, sex is play! Besides, there are health benefits that reduce stress and anxiety.  Dr. Carol is the Good Vibrations (www.GoodVibes.com) Staff Sexologist. Since 1990 she has used the platform to focus on sex education and women’s pleasure … informing and inspiring sexual comfort and exploration. During the program we spoke of the power of touch – by a partner or by oneself.  Her book is a compassionate guide for everyone and is a great source for sex education. Most were not given a proper sex education in school. Can you imagine if Driver’s Ed consisted of a teacher saying, “Here’s a car. Now don’t drive it!”? Dr. Diana (her new advice column: www.DearDrDiana.com) and Dr. Carol spoke with optimism and are hoping folks will explore what’s possible. Difficult conversations between couples can be helped by both our books! Tune in for a June 16th Part 2 with Carol Queen, Ph.D.

Dr. Lori Buckley guest hosted, interviewing Dr. Diana and her husband Bryan about their new book Love in the Time of Corona published today on Amazon!  Take a look. It’s an e-book – soon to be followed by a print copy.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B088TSNSPM

Several questions were explored …including What can couples do to thrive and grow closer during this challenging time?  “Forced togetherness” can be used as an opportunity to explore your sexual relationship and rekindle the sparks of passion. In addition to having fun, you may discover deeper levels of intimacy, both with your partner and with yourself. What makes touch so important for couples? Now, more than ever, we need comforting touch, a touch of love. There’s a universal truth about human sexuality: no matter your sexual beliefs, nothing beats a good back or foot massage. What about romance? Is it possible in this challenging time? Absolutely yes! Romance has a lot more to do with thoughtfulness, kindness, and fun than spending tons of money .. although flowers can be welcome if the guy is really present in other ways as well. Dr. Lori asked about more topics from the book – including: the health benefits and healing powers of sex; scheduling sex, putting it on the calendar for a Date Night at home; reconnecting sexually if there’s been a long period of time without much intimacy; tips for becoming more confident and skilled as a lover; suggestions for couples to improve their sexual communication skills; and Seven Secrets for Sensational Sex. Tune in – you may be informed and inspired! If you buy the e-book, you will find many exercises – giving you structure so that you can make positive relationship changes during this Pandemic.   

We need to go from Quarantining to Cocooning. Host Dr. Diana Wiley has a book soon to be published “Love in the Time of Corona,” and her guest is Sheri Winston (www.IntimateArtsCenter.com) author of “Succulent Sex Craft.” Together they spoke of the COVID19 level of uncertainty which often leads to increased stress and anxiety. Since sex is good for reducing stress and deepening a relationship, use this time as an opportunity to explore your sexual relationship and rekindle the sparks of passion. Plan a date night (or morning/afternoon) at home. Put it on the calendar. Sex does not have to be spontaneous. We both have Chapters on touch. Sheri’s has the “Six P’s of Touch: PRESENCE: Be present. Touch here now. PURPOSE: Hold a positive intention. PATIENCE: Don’t rush, Take your time. PRECISION: Be accurate and focused. (Body Painting each other can be a fun game!) PATTERN: Think musically and artistically – use rhythm, themes and motifs. PROGRESSION: Keep it moving – and coherent.  Laughing and playing together is important because couples who laugh together last together. Creative silliness is a great solution! The word silly did not originally mean ridiculous or trivial. It comes from the Old English saelig, which meant prosperous, happy, and healthy. A little silliness can help you enjoy all those blessings. Sheri compared some sex to how dogs and cats like to play. The dog, often a man, may dive right into the genitals while the cat-like woman wants more of a warmup connection, going at her pace. Laughter yoga and sexual energy were also discussed. Tune in!

The news is dire. There are a lot of questions and not many answers. On and off social media, many people have wondered if we’ll emerge from quarantine with a divorce boom or a baby boom. Brad Coates, author of “Divorce with Decency” (www.CoatesandFrey.com), is a divorce attorney and mediator. He knows all about divorce; of course, Dr. Diana covered the sex part! In a matter of weeks, the global epidemic has transformed relationships, dating and sex. Brad noted that there are three causes for divorce: money, sex, and family. Communication is key in all areas. Talking (without really listening to the other) is the most dangerous thing a couple can do – especially when they are stressed. Brad’s firm deals with domestic violence cases and restraining orders. Victims of abuse and domestic violence are especially vulnerable under a state-sanctioned lockdown. Brad talked about separation/divorce, implications of the huge economic downturn, and Dr. Diana spoke about “Love in the Time of Corona” – giving a small preview of her soon-to-be-published book. Brad and Dr. Diana shed some light on things that need attention and examination.

How do you navigate intimate time during the Corona Virus? Two sex therapists, Dr. Diana Wiley (www.DrDianaWiley.com) and her guest Dr. Lori Buckley (www.DrLoriBuckley.com), advise that enjoyable sexual activity between partners can have a distinct beneficial effect on the mental and physical health of a couple. If you are quarantined with a partner, you have more time together – make the most of it! Yes, there are many fears and concerns at this time; but, reel it in…Turn off the news, step away from the computer, open a window and take some deep breaths. Then turn to your partner, with an open mind and a playful spirit, and make a plan for a date night at home. It begins by putting the date night and sex on the calendar. When sex is scheduled, spontaneous affection won’t be misinterpreted as an invitation for sex. Arousal, including emotional foreplay, often precedes desire, especially for women. We shared some exercises for couples who have been “out of touch” so that they can gradually re-engage in non-sexual ways. The physical foreplay can include a vulva massage. Dr. Lori’s all natural product “Luv my Vulva” can be found at www.SexyStuffStore.com. Put in the code “DrDiana” for a 10% discount through the end of April. Also, explore new sex toys – especially useful for those of you who don’t have a partner. Opportunities for masturbation can be really good! An orgasm can have many body/health benefits! For everyone: be kind to yourself and stay in gratitude.  Because when you are in gratitude, you can’t be in fear.

Brad Coates and Dr. Diana love to talk about romance – and have been doing it (on the radio) for more than 20 years! Brad’s title for this broadcast is: “Divergent Wants, Needs, Expectations and Desires which Men and Women Each Have for Their Romantic Relationships.”                   As a divorce lawyer, he well knows the three main causes of divorce: sex, money, and family. This show is called LOVE, LUST & LAUGHTER – so, of course we focused on “sex”! As Brad says … in divorce situations there has been either too much sex outside the marriage, or too little within it. “ Relationship ruptures” are first explained by Brad in the form of data: 60% of men, but only 35% of women, say sexual activity is important in their lives. Once again, COMMUNICATION rules! Why are many women not so interested in sex? What about the older woman and divorce? More thought provoking topics!  Brad is the author of “Divorce with Decency” – 5th Edition. www.CoatesandFrey.com

Grace Bell, Certified Facilitator of The Work of Byron Katie – www.workwithgrace.com – returned to the program. Friends and colleagues, Dr. Diana and Grace have this in common: they never want to stop opening up people’s lives! Grace talked about Byron Katie’s key questions for reflection/transformation – Is it true? Can you absolutely know it’s true?  How do you react when you believe this thought? And, Who would you be without this thought? Eating disorders and sexuality issues have shame, and often sexual abuse at the foundation. Grace spoke about her recent Eating Peace Retreat where the group process was very powerful and transformative! Women say, “I don’t care if I’m peaceful…I want to be thin.” And “Bad things can happen – watch out, be cautious.” Grace demonstrated the turnaround process. Mindfulness is essential; for example, noticing what you want right now, noticing what you want to put in your mouth. “No-fault” mindful eating is eating only when hungry and eating exactly what you want, focusing on the food, stopping when full. Women often use food, eating and weight to express (or suppress) painful feelings about their lives, relationships, sexuality and gender roles. Some feel totally out of control and consumed by self-loathing. Please tune-in for some answers!

How is your sexual relationship going to improve in this new year? Dr. Lori Buckley – www.DrLoriBuckley.com –  is the guest and author of “21 Decisions for Great Sex & A Happy Relationship.” This is a book that offers simple steps to improve your relationship so that it is more satisfying and healthy. As Dr. Lori promises, “There are not many experiences in life as great as mind-blowing sex with someone you love!!!”  And she points out that there is a difference between resolutions and decisions. Listen in and hear the fascinating differences – and/or get her book! We also spoke about negative body image – since weight loss resolutions are so common at this time of year. The only way we are able to enjoy sex is to focus on the pleasure. If you’re distracted by worry that your partner won’t find you attractive, you won’t be a responsive partner. Not promising for the relationship!

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