Candida Royalle lived a life of passion and purpose – a pioneer in erotic cinema that are sensually explicit and female pleasure centric. Filmmaker Sheona McDonald (www.Dimestore.ca) made the documentary “Candice” all about Candida Royalle. My friend of twenty years-plus, Candice gained public traction in both the adult and academic communities for her erotic films featuring plotlines from a female pleasure perspective. Sheona captured the essence of Candice in both “Inside Her Sex” (www.insidehersex.com) and in the doc “Candice.” Sexual shame and exploration are themes. Dr. Diana and Sheona discussed the films and the subjects that were covered. Does Candice, her work, and the things she was fighting for fit into the current conversation? Please tune-in and decide for yourself!   

 

Bryan, please show the photo of CR and Sheona from www.insidehersex.com. They are smiling in SF!   

We needed to see female pleasure so that we could demand it for ourselves. Candida Royalle (Candice), the godmother of feminist porn, taught us a lot about sex. A former adult performer, she went behind the camera and founded Femme Production in 1984, making films that depicted women in control of their sex lives…Happy couples having hot sex.  Candice died of ovarian cancer at the age of 64 in 2015. My guest, Dr. Mark Schoen, and I were both good friends of the late film maker. My husband and I traveled to Vancouver, B.C. for the May 4th premiere of the documentary “Candice” by Director/Film maker Sheona McDonald. She will be my guest next week. Mark and I agreed Sheona made a very intimate, compelling portrait of a woman who was a true pioneer in the field of adult film making . Dr Mark is a sex educator and film maker – www.SexSmartFilms.com. So, one film maker reviews another film maker! His films, including “Trans,” have been transformative! Go to his website so that you might get a real sex education. Please tune-in next week for Sheona and the following week for Dr. Mark again.

Brad Coates, author of “DIVORCE with DECENCY” – 5TH Edition, and Dr. Diana discussed the widening gender gap. When men and women face the same passage with different needs and directions, how do marriages/relationships survive? When we talk about men’s passages, “traditional masculinity” often relies on stoicism, dominance, aggression and competitiveness. It seems that the more men cling to rigid views of masculinity, the more likely they are to be depressed, or disdainful, or lonely. How does a man, especially over fifty, move from competing to connecting? Some men feel the solution lies in fixing women: as soon as women stop taking their jobs, depression fades; as soon as women stop categorizing sexual attention as harassment, there is less loneliness. There is also the idea that save-your-life-wife – that men really are more dependent on women than they might admit. A fear of intimacy often lurks. This fear may be a fear of going too deep into himself. It’s a mirror. “I’m afraid to look for the old jock image of myself and find out, ‘Hey, you’re really not that good.’” There’s more, and it’s complicated. Tune in to hear Coates and Wiley sort this out. www.CoatesandFrey.com

Relationship Skills: Playing Nicely With Others was Sheri Winston’s focus. Sheri (www.IntimateArtsCenter.com) is a teacher, author, and medical professional  with some thirty years’ experience. Dr. Diana and Sheri spoke about the balance between self-awareness (“I”), partner-awareness (“You”)  and partner-awareness (“Us”). Self-awareness requires a good relationship with the self; sometimes the key to better sex might be repairing that relationship. The “ You” part may be improved by syncing up with your partner – plugging into a partner’s breath, pelvic thrusts and vocalizations. As for the “Us” part, being fully transparent – sharing everything, especially those parts you don’t want to share. Can you let your lover love you completely, your darkness as well as your light? There are many teachers, including the Gottmans and Harville Hendrix (Imago).  Eliminating negativity patterns by resolving to go 30 days without negativity, and by replacing judgment with curiosity can be great “fixes.” Sheri’s books are “Succulent Sex Craft” and “Women’s Anatomy of Arousal: Secret Maps to Buried Pleasure” can be found on her website and also on AMAZON.  Please listen for a lively, informative show! 

What is your sexual history – and what might it mean? Sheri Winston returned to the program to sort this out with Dr. Diana. Sheri is a celebrated sexuality teacher, and an award-winning author. Her book “Succulent Sex Craft” is available on AMAZON; but you’ll also want to check out her website www.IntimateArtsCenter.com. Most everybody has learned something from their sexual history. For some women “happily ever after” stories take over: as in, someday my Prince will come – and so will I! Sheri’s book talks about erotic communication, and succulent sex craft for partners. One of her suggestions is for couples to have a Play Shop where there is “show and tell” for kissing, for stroking, for foot massages, for genitals, etc. … Starting slow, super slow. It’s good to remember that if men are microwaves, women are slow-cooking ovens! Couples will switch roles, and if receiving, having responsible responses. Want to hear the details?  Tune in!

 

Good information, like a good man, is hard to find. Dr. Dudley Danoff MD offers abundant, accurate information in his book The Ultimate Guide to Male Sexual Health (www.theultimateguidetomenshealth.com). Dr. Danoff discussed super foods to invigorate your sex life, the health benefits of having sex, top questions a gay man should ask his doc, and ways to stay sexy as you age. He is a world renowned urologist with this message: great sex is at its finest, an emotional connection – with good skills backed by informed knowledge. By listening to this program and by reading his book, you may realize it’s never too late to change your sexual story…revising it if your story if it leaves you incompetent or incomplete. Please tune in for a fascinating show!    

The actress Jeanne Moreau once said, “Age doesn’t protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age.” Valentine’s Day is near -- so Brad Coates and Dr. Diana spoke about the widening gender gap and how this may affect love and relationships. Brad’s research suggests that when it comes to romance, men tend to be the first in and the last out. The #MeToo movement has empowered women, some experiencing more resentment and hostility toward males. In a partnership, the sexual relationship needs to be satisfying a fun! Intimacy is a balm, a connector, a place of surprise, and the redirection of tension into pleasure. We all need more pleasure in our lives! Most women want a man who will treat her kindly; if he does, she will give and forgive much. Men: don’t try to fix it – do try to understand it. Be appreciative and don’t take your partner for granted. If you have a Valentine, make the most of it! Brad Coates is the author of “Divorce with Decency,” 5th Edition, and his website is www.CoatesandFrey.com.   

Marc Gilmartin quotes the late Jack Morin, PhD: “If you go to war with your sexuality, you’re bound to lose.” Marc Gilmartin (www.marcgilmartin.com) is a licensed mental health counselor, and has worked with men with out-of-control sexual behaviors since 2000. “Working with erotically conflicted men: when desire and disgust collide” is the centerpiece of Marc’s work. In his men’s groups he uses a sexual health approach – guiding clients to manage their out-of-control sexual behaviors and to determine their own vision of sexual health. The group members learn to regulate moods, and keep agreements – among other things. So many come in with shame – knowing little about pleasure, especially sensory pleasure. Please tune in for so much more!

We’re building toward V-Day. Laura Corn, the author of “101 Nights of Grrreat Sex” (available on Amazon), joined the program. She is the perfect guest to talk about romance! Her books have sold close to 4 million. Laura is curious about erotic formulas: blank + blank = great sex. I like sensual pleasure + playfulness = great sex. Laura’s book is one you do, pulling out invitations/seductions – some for her eyes only, some for his eyes only. Then follow the recipe and have fun! When every sense is stimulated often the lover is able to be more fully in the moment, feeling more alive and sexual. We are creating memories…perhaps this is more important as we age. When I think of my husband and me, I realize we are two experienced people who have a past, yet everything is still possible! A book like Laura’s can help the passion persist. 

Dr. Charlie Glickman  (www.CharlieGlickman.com) is the co-author of The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure (www.prostatepleasureguide.com). This is a man who knows about prostates! There is much pleasure to be had – given some guidance and an open mind. www.MakeSexEasy.com.  Dr. Diana and Dr. Charlie explored questions about common concerns, what is the prostate, why do men enjoy prostate play, different ways to explore it, and pegging. The female G-spot is similar to the prostate, and for both genders stimulation of these spots, orgasms can be bigger, more full-bodied. We spoke about fears some heterosexual men have about receiving anal/prostate pleasure, fearing that it might make them gay. Dr. Charlie pointed out that sexual orientation is more about who you want to be with, and that’s different than what you want to do. Dr. Charlie offers a half hour free phone consultation. He has spoken to people all over the world…asking what do they want, and how to make it happen. He is a wise and knowledgeable sex and relationship coach. Tune in for more!

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