Relationship Skills: Playing Nicely With Others was Sheri Winston’s focus. Sheri (www.IntimateArtsCenter.com) is a teacher, author, and medical professional  with some thirty years’ experience. Dr. Diana and Sheri spoke about the balance between self-awareness (“I”), partner-awareness (“You”)  and partner-awareness (“Us”). Self-awareness requires a good relationship with the self; sometimes the key to better sex might be repairing that relationship. The “ You” part may be improved by syncing up with your partner – plugging into a partner’s breath, pelvic thrusts and vocalizations. As for the “Us” part, being fully transparent – sharing everything, especially those parts you don’t want to share. Can you let your lover love you completely, your darkness as well as your light? There are many teachers, including the Gottmans and Harville Hendrix (Imago).  Eliminating negativity patterns by resolving to go 30 days without negativity, and by replacing judgment with curiosity can be great “fixes.” Sheri’s books are “Succulent Sex Craft” and “Women’s Anatomy of Arousal: Secret Maps to Buried Pleasure” can be found on her website and also on AMAZON.  Please listen for a lively, informative show! 

What is your sexual history – and what might it mean? Sheri Winston returned to the program to sort this out with Dr. Diana. Sheri is a celebrated sexuality teacher, and an award-winning author. Her book “Succulent Sex Craft” is available on AMAZON; but you’ll also want to check out her website www.IntimateArtsCenter.com. Most everybody has learned something from their sexual history. For some women “happily ever after” stories take over: as in, someday my Prince will come – and so will I! Sheri’s book talks about erotic communication, and succulent sex craft for partners. One of her suggestions is for couples to have a Play Shop where there is “show and tell” for kissing, for stroking, for foot massages, for genitals, etc. … Starting slow, super slow. It’s good to remember that if men are microwaves, women are slow-cooking ovens! Couples will switch roles, and if receiving, having responsible responses. Want to hear the details?  Tune in!

 

Good information, like a good man, is hard to find. Dr. Dudley Danoff MD offers abundant, accurate information in his book The Ultimate Guide to Male Sexual Health (www.theultimateguidetomenshealth.com). Dr. Danoff discussed super foods to invigorate your sex life, the health benefits of having sex, top questions a gay man should ask his doc, and ways to stay sexy as you age. He is a world renowned urologist with this message: great sex is at its finest, an emotional connection – with good skills backed by informed knowledge. By listening to this program and by reading his book, you may realize it’s never too late to change your sexual story…revising it if your story if it leaves you incompetent or incomplete. Please tune in for a fascinating show!    

The actress Jeanne Moreau once said, “Age doesn’t protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age.” Valentine’s Day is near -- so Brad Coates and Dr. Diana spoke about the widening gender gap and how this may affect love and relationships. Brad’s research suggests that when it comes to romance, men tend to be the first in and the last out. The #MeToo movement has empowered women, some experiencing more resentment and hostility toward males. In a partnership, the sexual relationship needs to be satisfying a fun! Intimacy is a balm, a connector, a place of surprise, and the redirection of tension into pleasure. We all need more pleasure in our lives! Most women want a man who will treat her kindly; if he does, she will give and forgive much. Men: don’t try to fix it – do try to understand it. Be appreciative and don’t take your partner for granted. If you have a Valentine, make the most of it! Brad Coates is the author of “Divorce with Decency,” 5th Edition, and his website is www.CoatesandFrey.com.   

Marc Gilmartin quotes the late Jack Morin, PhD: “If you go to war with your sexuality, you’re bound to lose.” Marc Gilmartin (www.marcgilmartin.com) is a licensed mental health counselor, and has worked with men with out-of-control sexual behaviors since 2000. “Working with erotically conflicted men: when desire and disgust collide” is the centerpiece of Marc’s work. In his men’s groups he uses a sexual health approach – guiding clients to manage their out-of-control sexual behaviors and to determine their own vision of sexual health. The group members learn to regulate moods, and keep agreements – among other things. So many come in with shame – knowing little about pleasure, especially sensory pleasure. Please tune in for so much more!

We’re building toward V-Day. Laura Corn, the author of “101 Nights of Grrreat Sex” (available on Amazon), joined the program. She is the perfect guest to talk about romance! Her books have sold close to 4 million. Laura is curious about erotic formulas: blank + blank = great sex. I like sensual pleasure + playfulness = great sex. Laura’s book is one you do, pulling out invitations/seductions – some for her eyes only, some for his eyes only. Then follow the recipe and have fun! When every sense is stimulated often the lover is able to be more fully in the moment, feeling more alive and sexual. We are creating memories…perhaps this is more important as we age. When I think of my husband and me, I realize we are two experienced people who have a past, yet everything is still possible! A book like Laura’s can help the passion persist. 

Dr. Charlie Glickman  (www.CharlieGlickman.com) is the co-author of The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure (www.prostatepleasureguide.com). This is a man who knows about prostates! There is much pleasure to be had – given some guidance and an open mind. www.MakeSexEasy.com.  Dr. Diana and Dr. Charlie explored questions about common concerns, what is the prostate, why do men enjoy prostate play, different ways to explore it, and pegging. The female G-spot is similar to the prostate, and for both genders stimulation of these spots, orgasms can be bigger, more full-bodied. We spoke about fears some heterosexual men have about receiving anal/prostate pleasure, fearing that it might make them gay. Dr. Charlie pointed out that sexual orientation is more about who you want to be with, and that’s different than what you want to do. Dr. Charlie offers a half hour free phone consultation. He has spoken to people all over the world…asking what do they want, and how to make it happen. He is a wise and knowledgeable sex and relationship coach. Tune in for more!

What does a real man look like? Charlie Glickman, Ph.D. speaks about acting like a man in a box. The video on this subject can be found at www.CharlieGlickman.com. He is a sex and relationship coach, a sexuality educator and an internationally-acclaimed speaker. Dr. Diana and Dr. Charlie spoke about the pressure for many men  to “enforce” the box. Doing so may manifest in performance anxiety, erectile problems – and in seeking out distractions like working a lot, drinking too much, having a lot of sex partners, etc. A man can ask, “What turns me on?...What slows me down?” Sex is not about a man’s penis (although porn is totally penis-focused). Great sex involves the entire body – based on leisurely, playful, whole-body sensuality for both partners. Next week we will discuss prostate pleasure and more! Dr. Charlie’s book is The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure. See more at www.MakeSexEasy.com.

Stephen Snyder, M.D., author of “LOVE WORTH MAKING – HOW TO HAVE RIDICULOUSLY GREAT SEX IN A LONG LASTING RELATIONSHIP,” returned to the program. He and Dr. Diana explored these topics: Can erotic love last? – and, Why men and women don’t understand each other. The good doctor says you don’t need desire to have good sex. Slow down…it’s going to be okay. Dr. Snyder suggests spending time in bed naked doing nothing together. Mindfulness, being aware of your breathing, and of your senses may contribute to a growing arousal. Sex is all about paying attention. She may try to get his attention by showing what she has, who she is. The man, through his behavior, may show what he is capable of doing. In recent times, the power dynamic has shifted, and this is confusing for some men. There’s more, of course, in this fascinating show…Listen in! Dr. Snyder’s website is www.LoveWorthMaking.com.   

Jessa Zimmerman – www.JessaZimmerman.com – author of “Sex without Stress – A Couple’s Guide to Overcoming Disappointment, Avoidance  & Pressure” returned to the program. This time we focused on “The 9 Phases of Taking the Stress Out of Sex.” Phase 1 is prioritizing intimacy – where it’s not just sex you’re scheduling; rather, it’s a trip to the playground. It’s important to just show up. With this sort of journey, there are no expectations, and you are seeing it as an opportunity to have fun. And, having fun together often fosters desire! There are many benefits derived from the giver-receiver exercises: one is that you need to take care of yourself, the foundation of trust. We also discussed exploring eroticism, her book’s Phase 9, where it is important to take and allow pleasure. Consent is built in to this exercise. Practicing emotional surrender by reminding yourself of what you are especially grateful for in your lover…Be playful and expressive. Laugh!  The articulate, informed Jessa will return in the new year.

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