“I was not against marriage. I believed in it, in fact. It was necessary to have one best friend in a hostile world…yet what about all those other longings which after a while, marriage did nothing much to appease?” – “FEAR OF FLYING,” Erica Jong.  Once again Brad Coates (www.CoatesandFrey.com) joined the program. He is a man who knows much about marriage and divorce, the author of “DIVORCE with DECENCY” – Fourth Edition. This book has some fascinating statistics – including that we’re in a marriage slump. Fewer Americans are married today, largely because fewer young people are tying the knot. And, from Brad’s book: “There has been more than a 30% drop in the marriage rate since 1970…Thirty-six percent of women surveyed said they would not marry their same husbands again, whereas only 12 percent of married men admitted they had picked the wrong wife…Forty percent of all couples are estimated to be simply coexisting in unhappy marriages.” Women in Brad’s office complain about a lack of communication, and men often have a women in the wings (an affair). Yes, there is the sex part. The Canadian researchers who analyzed data from three different studies found that sex played an even bigger role than money in happiness. Tune in to discover the details!

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Dr. Linda De Villers returned. She is the author of “Love Skills – A Fun, Upbeat Guide to Sex-cessful Relationships” and “Simple Sexy Food – 101 Tasty Aphrodisiac Recipes and Sensual Tips to Stir Your Libido and Feed Your Love.” Both books can be found on www.DrLindaDeVillers.com – actually, perfect for V-Day coming up! Dr. Diana and Dr. Linda discussed gay and lesbian relationships – included in her 6th Edition of “Love Skills.” The LGBT civil rights movement has communicated there are different ways to be sexual and intimate. Dr. Linda’s book “Love Skills” points out that gay men can be competitive in exercising with a partner, and that some lesbian women have experienced sexual abuse. The reaction can be this: put on weight to protect

oneself. Ramping up to V-Day, the docs spoke about kissing. Being a great kisser – mastering those lingering, luxuriant lip-locks can boost the frequency and quality of your bedroom action, studies suggest. The frequency of a couple’s kissing has implications about issues like abandonment, divorce, and infidelity. If you are kissing frequently, it telegraphs commitment. Dr. Linda’s book “Simple Sexy Food” understands that food and sex are inextricably linked. We use the same senses at the table to measure a great meal as we do to appreciate a fine time in bed – the eyes, the ears, the nose, the mouth, and tactile sensations. Great food is like great sex…both can evoke ecstatic pleasure! You’ll find some great V-Day inspirations!

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Rebecca Gould author of “The Multi-Orgasmic Diet – Embrace your sexual energy and awaken your senses for a healthier, happier, sexier you” returned to the program (www.THEMULTIOGASMICDIET.COM). Rebecca and Dr. Diana  reviewed the question – What is the multi-orgasmic diet? We also sampled more questions, for example:  What struggles did Rebecca face that made her want to help other women in this way? One of those women, Nicole from Brooklyn, called in (in the process receiving a free book), asking about foods that might help her sexual relationship. Rebecca and I also discussed this: What would you tell women who have sexual trauma or feel sexually shut down? Another profound discussion:  How does one apply Rebecca’s wisdom to relating to others? Many questions and many answers…You’ll want to hear the program!  

 

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Dr. Linda De Villers author of “Love Skills – A Fun, Upbeat Guide to Sex-cessful Relationships” returned. This is a wonderful book – providing step-by-step programs for sexual fun, adventure and growth! To get your own copy, go to www.DrLindaDeVillers.com. Dr Diana and Dr. Linda, friends and colleagues since 1991, discussed Dr. Robert Sternberg’s triangular theory of love. Her graduate students appreciate Dr. De Viller’s Tips for Anxious Moments, and so will our listeners! Tune-in to learn more. Part 2 will broadcast January 31st – reflecting the fully revised 6th Edition of “Love Skills”: Gay and Lesbian relationships. We will also talk about her other book “Simple, Sexy Food.”

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Dr. Mark Schoen, a sex educator and a filmmaker, returned to the program. His website www.SexSmartFilms.com is Netflix of sex education – and a sex educator’s dream come true! The most viewed videos – of the 430 films on the site – are the Sensate Focus Exercises, the Science of Orgasm, the True Story of How Babies are Made, the Science of Attraction, and TRANS (about transgendered folks dealing with discrimination and rejection). Under the Education category on the site is Disability. Dr. Mark has paired with Dr. Mitch Tepper to make the next documentary: “Making Love after War,” and the pilot can be viewed on SSF. We hear the story of Aaron and Kat, but these kinds of stories are heard over and over – according to the filmmaker. So much more needs to be done to help vets deal with injuries affecting their sexuality. Dr. Schoen and Dr. Tepper are helping this cause by making this film. They both will be on the program as they get closer to the conclusion. Tune in for a preview!

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Rebecca Gould author of “The Multi-Orgasmic Diet – Embrace your sexual energy and awaken your senses for a healthier, happier, sexier you” – communicates so well the symbiotic relationship between living a full, rich, pleasure-filled life and a conscious, healthy relationship with food.  www.THEMULTIORGASMICDIET.COM. Dr. Diana and Rebecca discussed topics including: Why does a woman looking for a diet book need her book? The choices we make about what we put in our mouths are only stand-ins for the beliefs we carry in our minds and our hearts. We also talked about the struggles that Rebecca faced that made her want to help women in this way. She’ll return for a Part 2 on the 17th of January. Please listen to this show – and tune in on the 17th!

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Dr. Mark Schoen is a filmmaker. His documentary “TRANS” portrays the transgendered dealing with discrimination and rejection. This is one topic in www.SexSmartFilms.com; others include aging, arousal, consent (really big now!), disability, female and male sexuality, gay and lesbian issues, masturbation, and sexual power play. The most viewed videos are: Sensate Focus Exercises, the Science of Orgasm, the True Story of How Babies are Made, the Science of Attraction, and TRANS. Mark has 430 films from 50 different countries. Watching a film and then processing it with a lover/friend/partner is important. We learn visually; therefore, new techniques and sexual approaches often improve. Sexual desire for the couple is often “jump-started” when they view sex-positive and excited couples performing in these adult videos. Dr. Mark will return January 10th to discuss his upcoming documentary “Making Love after War.” Go to www.loveafterwar.org – for a preview!

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Ross Rosenberg returned to the show – this time with even more passion about narcissism in light of the recent election. His best-selling book “The Human Magnet Syndrome: Why We Love People Who Hurt Us”  (www.HumanMagnetSyndrome.com) explains why patient, giving, and selfless individuals (codependents) are predictably attracted to selfish, self-centered partners (pathological narcissists). Our President-Elect, Donald Trump, almost certainly suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Ross Rosenberg spoke eloquently as a Clinician and as an author about the many kinds of narcissism. A key feature of NPD is a sense of entitlement; we are already seeing that Trump will not respect the traditional boundaries of the office. The rules don’t apply to him. He desires even more wealth and power because it fills a void. Ross had so many brilliant observations! Please listen to the show.

 

 

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For many sex becomes less like the fourth of July and more like Thanksgiving. Veronica Monet returned to the program to help keep those fireworks popping! She is a Relationship Coach – www.TheShameFreeZone.com – but from 1989 to 2004 she was a high end escort who catered to wealthy businessmen. Dr. Diana and Veronica discussed what she learned about men while working as an escort; for example, men wanted to feel special, often preferring conversation to sexual activities. Men do want more cuddling, kissing, and physical affection. Both men and women want love and sex. Some men pretend to be macho, but under the right conditions both men and women admit to be more complex than the stereotypes would have it. Tune-in for a provocative discussion!

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In these sex-negative times, being a sexologist leads to a certain amount of frustration, sadness, and anger. The remedy, and my perfect guest is Veronica Monet! She is an outspoken advocate for sexual self-determination – www.TheShameFreeZone.com – and has been a guest on many major media including CNN, FOX News and the New York Times. Her coaching clients benefit from a potent combination of her training as a Certified Sexologist and Anger Specialist. Her deep empathy comes from much personal work on her own sexual abuse. Dr. Diana and Veronica discussed the challenges of celebrating sexuality in the face of having experienced sexual harassment, abuse, and even rape. What steps can sexual abuse survivors take to feel safe while a self-admitted sexual predator is in the White House? In our culture, sexual pleasure is still a dangerous commodity with dangerous overtones. It might be the first thing we toss overboard during life’s various storms. We might forget that it’s as much a part of us as the need to eat and breathe. Veronica has a message of hope for those who may feel their sexual freedoms are at risk.  

 

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