Archive for November 2014

It’s that time of year again, when Americans baste turkeys, bake pies, and give thanks. Do you have an attitude of gratitude? My guest Dr. Richard Wagner certainly does! A former Catholic Priest and current sexologist, his views are spiritual, wise, and extremely insightful. Last year on November 5th and the 12th, we discussed his book The Amateur’s Guide to Death and Dying: Enhancing the End of Life. (Please visit the archives to hear these shows.) His more recent book is The Gospel of Kink. First we discussed the rituals for love – where a heart-felt “thank you” can be more meaningful than “I love you.” It very likely this will raise the other up – and get us out of our egos at the same time. Many relationships die from emotional undernourishment. People forget to say what they value and appreciate about their partner. Speak up! It creates good feelings, which draws us closer. The second part of the program explored BDSM aftercare. It turns out that BDSM folks prioritize sex, make time for it, accept their sexuality, and communicate openly with their partner. Dr. Wagner discusses power play where partners talk clearly about sexual parameters, limits, safe words and the like. The aftercare piece is when the partners can embrace and say thank you…It can be the transition from the personality in the scene to the day-to-day personality. There is so much more!  Please listen. Happy Thanksgiving!

 

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Bradley Coates, Esq., (www.CoatesandFrey.com) returned to the program. He is the author of “DIVORCE with DECENCY” – 4TH Edition. The focus of the show was a question in this book: IS MARRIAGE DEAD?  Every day in June about 13,000 American couples say “I do,” committing to a lifelong relationship of joy and love; except, of course, it doesn’t work out that way for most people. The majority of marriages fail, either ending in divorce and separation or devolving into bitterness and dysfunction. Brad Coates, heading up Hawaii’s largest divorce law firm, knows that the latter is true.  The stats, enumerated in his book are alarming: the 2010 Census revealed that married couples represented only 48% of all households. Furthermore, 2/3rds of women file for divorce, dissatisfied with having to assume too much of the relationship responsibility – and more. Dr. Diana and Brad also discussed the Internet’s connectedness craze – as well as porn. Relationships are truly affected by these modern trends. January 20, 2015 Brad will return to the show so that we can discuss the ingredients of a healthy and lasting relationship.

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FEMALE ORGASMS – they feel great, help you lose weight, are good for your health, and are free! Joan Price – www.JoanPrice.com – writes about this, among other sexual matters – in her books “Better Than I Expected – Straight Talk about Sex after Sixty,”  and “Naked at Our Age – Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex.”  Dr. Diana and Joan discussed orgasms at any age,  and the importance of practice – with oneself and with a partner. The more orgasms you have, the more orgasms you’re likely to have in the future! “The pleasure of living and the pleasure of the orgasm are identical. Extreme orgasm anxiety forms the basis of the general fear of life.” – Wilhelm Reich.  Dr. Reich’s idea led us into the center of letting go, possible fears, negative body image, and more. Joan Price’s idea of tracking the tingle, breathing, using fantasy, and sex toys were all examined. We need to move beyond compartmentalizing our sexual selves – reflected in Anna Freud’s observation, “Sex is something you do, sexuality is something you are…”   Orgasms help a lot with feeling sexiness in your body, mind, and spirit – so that our sexuality is more robust!

 

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Your sexual self – the unique blend of attitude, experience, and sensuality you bring to bed – is never fixed. Lynn Brown Rosenberg really knows about this concept because she wrote a memoir “My Sexual Awakening at 70” – www.LynnBrownRosenberg.com . Her mother and father were sexually repressed – and  passed along lots of sex negative messages. Emotional attachment in the family of origin establishes not only the ability to achieve a sense of connection but a degree of security in later relationships. Lynn overcame lots and has had many sexual adventures and personal insights as a result. She learned how to re-invent herself and powerful orgasms were a delightful by-product!

 

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