Archive for July 2019

Dr. Charlie Glickman ( and Dr. Diana spoke to two common concerns: checking out during sexual arousal, and learning how to receive sensual touch. If a woman can’t stop thinking about household chores or feels unattractive or can’t stand her partner’s breath, those feelings – not her biology – may be the basis of her lack of desire. No one can be in two places at once; therefore, if you want to be present during sex, you need to be in the moment and let go. Body image issues and past sexual trauma can get in the way of receiving sensual touch. Mindfulness, the practice of nonjudgemental awareness rooted in Buddhism, improves mood and reduces stress – both of which affect desire. Learning to be in the moment and ignore distractions can also help you enjoy sex more, and pleasure fuels  desire. To help you let go of distracting thoughts, focus on what feels good in your body. The sensate focus homework exercises provide an excellent vehicle for this. For a woman with low sexual desire, something going on in her life echoes through the nervous system and possibly mutes her sexual response. There are so many avenues to altering desire!

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What are the social mega trends that are impacting modern romantic relationships? Brad Coates knows. He is a frequent guest and a longtime friend. His book “DIVORCE with DECENCY, 5th Edition, is updated all the time…Brad wearing his sociologist hat on top of his lawyer hat. Online dating has meant that proximity is now worldwide and the timing is immediate.  Today an estimated one-third of marrying couples in the U.S. met online, and as many as 15% of American adults have used dating sites or apps. Some are happy to note that people looking for a sweetheart on the internet are more likely to have full-time employment and higher education, and to be seeking a long-term partner. Relationships also end because of the internet: cheating and getting caught is easier.  According to a recent survey, 55% of Americans ages 18-45 spend more time on their phones than with their S.O.s. There have been significant changes in sexuality/pornography as well. The porn industry generates about 12 billion U.S. revenue. Some experts feel that this porn explosion has altered men’s sexual behavior toward women – where they are treated more as “objects.” In Dr. Diana’s practice, there are a few couples where porn does not negatively affect their relationship. Acceptance of pornography by BOTH partners can actually help with communication – what they like, what turns them on, the fantasies they harbor. Porn can be a scapegoat for all the conversations couples aren’t having. Dr. Diana and Brad Coates also discussed living together, cohabitation, and LAT (Living Apart Together). As so many know, marriage isn’t easy. According to, “Money is the top source of marital tension.” Our relationship with money is deeply emotional. Money both symbolizes and embodies freedom, security and control over our lives…and it can be strongly tied to self-worth and our judgements of others. Finally, we spoke of “Gray Divorces.” 25% of all recent divorces involved people who had been married for 2 decades or more. There are simply more potential new partners out there. Stephanie Coontz calls this a “thicker remarriage market.” Please tune-in for even more!   

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