Archive for August 2018

Sexuality and disabilities – especially for injured veterans – are not addressed or explored enough. Dr. Mitchell Tepper, an internationally recognized sexuality educator and disability expert, has collaborated with filmmaker Dr. Mark Schoen (my guest September 4th) in making a documentary “Love after War” (www.LoveafterWar.org)  We discussed the background leading up to creating the documentary, and the physicaldisabilities with the process leading to sexual self-discovery (his book is “Regain the Feeling” – www.DrMitchellTepper.com). Our focus moved on to the invisible disabilities caused by PTSD and depression. A former Army psychiatrist was the first to identify failed intimate relationships as the leading cause of suicide. So many relationships would benefit from having conversations about sexual performance. Often for men, and particularly for former soldiers, the problem can be laden with shame. In the end, the film that Dr. Tepper and Dr. Schoen are making is about compassionate love. Please listen for more inspiring details! 

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“Sex is something you do, sexuality is something you are.” ~ Anna Freud.  Stephen Snyder, M.D., author of LOVE WORTH MAKING – HOW TO HAVE RIDICULOUSLY GREAT SEX IN A LONG-LASTING RELATIONSHIP(www.LoveWorthMaking.com), helps us move beyond the compartmentalizing of our sexual selves. The focus of the program was on his Chapter 5 “The Art of the Easy” and Chapter 6 “Two Roads to Orgasm.” The discussion reveals some deep, important ideas…Dr. Snyder is brilliant! He summarizes with this --  three things are essential for good sex:  Mindfulness, sex is all about paying attention.  It’s all about the present moment.  And it’s all aboutbeing without judgment (that is, acceptance). This show really will help you enjoy love worth making!

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Romantic relationships evolve at life’s different stages. Bard Coates is a divorce lawyer who authored “Divorce with Decency” now in its 5th Edition. www.CoatesandFrey.com.  Brad and Dr. Diana discussed the Millennials (born 1980-1995) and how many are embracing the “new monogamy.” A growing number of couples are reconsidering the terms of their commitment – sometimes it’s referred to as negotiated monogamy. “Monogamish” is the term coined by Dan Savage a popular sex columnist. When I work with couples considering opening their marriage, I get both partners to come clean about what they feel emotionally capable of handling. Brad talks about Millennials “hooking up”… allowing for physical pleasure while avoiding emotional risks. We also discussed pornography. When the man (95% of the time it is the man)) views porn in secret, it is often linked to relationship dissatisfaction. Acceptance of  porn by both partners may help their relationship in terms of their expectations and their communication. The “Paradox of Choice” prevails for many – having too many choices – including in the on-line dating world. Moving up to Boomers (born 1946-1964), Brad spoke about the frequency of “Gray Divorces. The 50 plus group has seen their rate of divorce surge 50% in the past 20 years. Brad will return September 18th for a Part 2. Tune in!   

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