Archive for May 2018

Orgasms! They are the center of letting go. “The pleasure of living and the pleasure of orgasm are identical. Extreme orgasm anxiety forms the basis  of the general fear of life.” ~ Wilhelm Reich.  Sheri Winston (www.IntimateArtsCenter.com) returned to the program this week. Her book “Succulent Sex Craft” is a wealth of information! This book is a must-read for anyone who wants to improve their erotic virtuosity, whether playing solo or with a partner. Sheri says sex is the glue and the lubricant of long-term relationships – often, helping create loving kindness. Dr. Diana and Sheri spoke about getting to the orgasm. Having an orgasm starts with getting aroused – and arousal begins in the brain, specifically the limbic area of the brain where our sense of smell intersects with our emotional process, our memory store and our sexuality. Arousal is also expressed through our breathing. Partners can even synchronize their breathing and movement. We also spoke of cannabis and sex which can erase a lot of our inhibitors and keep us in the moment. It’s often about finding pleasure and enjoyment in a very stressed out world. Plus, there are health benefits! Having regular orgasms will extend your life and provide the basis for more long lasting relationships. Studies have shown that people who enjoy a regular, satisfying sex life (i.e. regular orgasms) are less stressed, less  depressed and generally more well physically, mentally and emotionally. Imagine if we grew up believing that pleasure was a normal and healthy part of maturing sexuality. The world could not stay the same!

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When Sheri Winston (www.IntimateArtsCenter.com) and Dr. Diana last spoke there was a promise to talk about how to create and then play inside a “conjoined erotic trance”: -- a state where intuitive magic happens! Sheri’s books are Succulent Sex Craft and  Women’s Anatomy of Arousal. We spoke of the brain and how sex can make you stupid! Sheri’s sexual tool craft kit includes sounds and breath, visualizing heart energy, and rocking the hips. Turning it on, turning it up involves creating intention (good for low desire). Domesticity can be dangerous! Erotic skills, including more foreplay and mindfulness, may be essential. Sheri empathized that all of erotic skills are learnable! Just as the search for an orgasm is not about the destination – but more about the journey. Sheri and Diana talked about learning the skills along the way in a more mature, wise manner. Perhaps this requires older perspectives? Tune in to hear two older and wiser women speak about sexuality and relationships!   

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Stephen Snyder, M.D., author of “LOVE WORTH MAKING – HOW TO HAVE RIDICULOUSLY GREAT SEX IN A LONG LASTING RELATIONSHIP,” joined the program for Part 2. This time he and Dr. Diana discussed his Chapter 10 “Why Women Lose Interest in Sex” and Chapter 11 “Why Men Go Missing in Bed.” For a woman a serious sex-knot is feeling that something is wrong with her and so she has sex out of obligation. Dr. Snyder observes that people need acceptance more than they  need sex. His definition of intimacy is expressed by you and me in a sentence with a feeling. Female sexuality is often contextual, and she wants her partner to ignite her desire. She doesn’t want to be forced, but she wants him to help take her outside herself. Practicing being in the moment – mindfulness – often improves female desire. As for men, they need to feel welcomed, and they are sensitive to criticism. He feels criticized, so he withdraws. Now she is even more angry, and he withdraws further. Rather than confront relationship conflict head-on, many men hold their feelings inside. For some, excessive porn use accompanied by masturbation can lead to difficulty becoming aroused “in real life.” Healthy, loving relationships are built on mutual caretaking. Helping one’s partner feel wanted and attractive is an essential part of feeling connected emotionally. Dr Snyder’s website is www.LoveWorthMaking.com.  

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