Archive for August 2021

Love, Lust and Laughter - 08.24.21

The Gray Divorce: ending a relationship in later years. Dr Diana’s return guest Dr. Linda De Villers (www.drlindadevillers.com) is a sex therapist, Professor, and author of “Love Skills” and “Simple Sexy Food.” Both Dr. Diana and Dr. Linda have seen older couples who end their relationships after 20, 30, or 40 years. Breakups among long-married couples are actually pretty common: a quarter of all recent divorces involved people who’d been married for two decades or more. They often say they grew apart. One of the biggest threats to marriage is … boredom. Other factors may be at play. Henri-Frederic Amiel observed, “To marry unequally is to suffer equally.” Another philosopher, Woody Allen, said, “A relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we’ve got on our hands is a dead shark.” In a partnership there has to be respect and appreciation for who your partner is, as well as for the person he or she wishes to become. Older people often see the importance of quality of life. Why not? They (we) have fewer years in front of us than behind us. Yes, mortality issues! Dr. Linda and Dr. Diana discussed attachment styles and those who do better in breakups. Also, research has shown that the more one’s self worth depends on the relationship, the more suffering one is likely to feel when it ‘s over. In a breakup, one can get rejection relief by finding and working with a good therapist. The therapist can help the client cultivate more self-love. To be kind and forgiving of what they did or did not do in their marriage – and to be able to experience emotion without getting stuck in anger, sadness, or regret.

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Love, Lust and Laughter - 08.11.21

What really turns women on?

The answer to that question has been the subject of countless books and articles offering strategies and seduction techniques on how to bed a woman – and keep her coming back for more. Helping men become amazing lovers is but one skill that Dr. Hernando Chaves possesses. He is a sex therapist in private practice and a human sexuality professor at Pepperdine University (www.DrHernandoChaves.com). Last time, April 6, 2021, Dr Hernando and Dr. Diana focused on helping men overcome performance anxiety. Now it’s the ladies’ turn! Women love incredible sex just as much as men do. Yet many men don’t know how to really pleasure a woman sexually. Listen to this show for some amazing tips!

 

We started with paying attention.  Pure, non-distracted attention is so seductive and quite affirming! When your partner tells you her thoughts, feelings, desires – really listen. Another way to pay attention is to do nice things for your Love, showing that you are thinking about her. Bringing coffee in the morning to your mate … and the list goes on and on.

 

Take your time. Some Tantric erotic techniques can be useful – and so is the nuru massage originating in Japan. Put down a rubber sheet on a bed, slather your naked bodies with coconut oil, and slip and slide together. Such fun! The more we’re touched, the more we want to be touched. It gets the oxytocin flowing, which creates a stronger bond. And, don’t forget the feet. A Korean study found that couples who exchanged foot massages twice a week fought less and communicated better than less touchy couples. Dr. Hernando and Dr. Diana also talked about the art and science of cunnilingus. There’s so much more … You’ll want to hear all of this show!

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