Archive for June 2021

Love, Lust and Laughter - 06.23.21

Food and Sex

 

When I lived in Los Angeles, a good friend introduced me to Wolfgang Puck. Upon realizing I was a sex therapist, he observed, “The two essentials of life are food and sex.” Dr. Lori Buckley and I agree that food and sex are inextricably linked. What do both hungers have in common? We use the same senses to measure a great meal as we do to appreciate a fine time in bed: the eyes, the nose, the mouth. We both know the sensuality of a glorious meal and the pleasure of great sex!

 

Dr. Lori’s passion about sex is obvious. She is a sex therapist (www.DrLoriBuckley.com), the author of 21 Decisions for Great Sex and a Happy Relationship, and the host of the website www.StuffofLove.com. What about her passion for food? It began many years ago when she was searching for the perfect French onion soup. Cooking classes followed, and she mastered the French onion soup and learned to make absolutely wonderful meals. I still recall a fun, delicious dinner party where she made the pasta from scratch! Dr. Lori is now living in Napa and taking classes at the Culinary Institute of America.

 

Dr. Lori observed that a couple who cooks together might reveal who can take direction … and can they be teammates? In my book Love in the Time of Corona, please read Chapter 5 “Revitalize Your Senses.” Maintaining sensory engagement with your partner could involve preparing and eating food together. Make “gastronomic foreplay” part of your date night at home. Feed each other hand-to-mouth, try aphrodisiac foods … oh, there is so much more!

 

Sexual pleasure helps manage stress and is healthy. Sex toys can greatly enhance sexual pleasure! Go to www.StuffofLove.com where you can find Dr. Lori’s personally selected and tested toys. She created the CPR Card Deck. CPR stands for Connection, Passion, Romance, and the questions in each category inspire great conversations! Her Luv My Vulva moisturizing cream is designed for sensual massage to enhance sexual pleasure alone or with a partner. Dr. Diana reports it is a fantastic product! Dr. Lori is offering 20% off any item on her site. At checkout, use the code: PLAY20.   

If you think about it, the bond between food and sensual pleasure is the first thing we learn at birth. From nursing to death, food and sex go hand in hand. Whether we’re eating or making love, if we stay in the moment and slow down, we will enjoy more happiness!

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Love, Lust and Laughter - 06.08.21

Touch and Talk: The Key to Intimate Sexual Communication

 

It’s true … many feel that sex is a lot like pizza: No matter how bad it may be, it is still pretty good. However, those who have endured a lackluster sex life know that lack of passion can kill a relationship. Silence is the true enemy of sexual pleasure. Sexual communication is the key. Intimate Talk – Before, During, and After Sex is the theme of Dr. Ava Cadell’s (www.avacadell.com) next Sexpert Panel on June 23, 2021. Dr. Ava is the founder of Loveology University, which offers certified love coaching and relationship programs empowering people all over the world. Keep communicating!

 

All couples experience times when sex isn’t great and intimacy is lacking. Dr. Ava and Dr. Diana note that the next time you feel disconnected from your partner, speak to him or her. Just the act of talking will start to reconnect you. For many men, actions speak louder than words. He may express his “love language” as acts of service. The undertone of those actions is “I care about you and I want to take care of you.” His brain may be more left-side – get to the point; hers may be more right-side – tell a story.

 

Ask for what you want! Women often find it easier to listen rather than state their needs in the bedroom. It can help to make a game out of sexual requests, or to take turns with your partner in revealing your sexual wish list. Also, touch and talk at the same time. Show, don’t tell. If you want more foreplay, murmur where he should stroke, lick, or suck your body. Similarly, if a woman wants to try a new sexual position, she should redirect the action by moving her body into position. He’ll be thrilled that you are taking the lead, and happy to comply with such sexy demands.

 

Keep it playful and fun! One study showed that men most want enthusiasm in their female partner, and appreciate a lover who will initiate. We all have the potential to be free of sexual inhibitions, to satisfy ourselves and our partners, and to reach the pinnacles of sexual joy. The secret to realizing it is something we do every day of our lives: the secret is to talk.  

 

Another resource: There is a very instructive section entitled “Talking About Sex” in Chapter 1 of Dr. Diana’s book Love in the Time of Corona: Advice from a Sex Therapist for Couples in Quarantine.

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