Archive for September 2018

Dr. Mark Schoen is a sex educator and a filmmaker whose website www.SexSmartFilms.com is the Netflix of sex education. Many universities use Sex Smart Films knowing that it  is a sex educator’s dream come true! Parents also need to familiarize themselves with the site. Research shows that mothers and fathers who talk about sex with their kids are more likely to have offspring who share their values. Whether it is a parent or a grown-up in a sexual relationship, it can be argued that simply watching a sexually oriented film is a step in the right direction when communication is a problem. Access to the Internet allows kids to view porn. These films are NOT sex education…They are made for adult entertainment purposes only. We in the U.S. should take some pages from countries like Denmark where versions of sexuality are shown on TV and violence is frowned upon. Dr. Mark now has 615 films on his website under these categories: education, research, and therapy. Also, by going to www.LoveafterWar.org you can see a clip of his upcoming documentary intended to help health care professionals working with vets. Mark told the story of a soldier at Walter Reed coming out of a coma; his first question was, “Is my junk okay?” For all of us, getting more information on sexual health can make all the difference!

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Brad Coates (www.CoatesandFrey.com) provided us with an analysis of the pros and cons of three of life’s most crucial choices: to marry, to re-marry, and to parent. Brad knows all about marriages and divorce because he’s been a divorce lawyer in Honolulu, Hawaii for forty years.  Dr. Diana and Brad discussed this topic. The biggest marital benefits come in high stress environments, and people who are married can often handle midlife stress better than those who aren’t. Marriage may be most important when there is stress in life. It helps to accommodate a partner’s needs as well. Trust is necessary. Does your partner have your best interests in mind? Can you listen nondefensively? We love this motto: “When you’re in pain, the world stops and I listen.” Humor helps too in that it may soothe couples inside and out during conflict. If a couple decides to have a child, parenthood can wreak havoc on their relationship and sex life. Many will stay together and feel stuck in a mild but chronic depressive state sometimes called “depressively married.”  Then there are couples who choose not to have children because they want more pleasure for themselves; in other words, they are hedonists. Here’s the paradox: We expect more from our marriages but feed them less. Check out Brad’s book “DIVORCE with DECENCY” now in its 5th Edition.

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