Archive for April 2017

Living entails experiencing the pain of loss – both our own and of those we care about. Continuing to live also means finding ways to go on. Dr. Diana and Dr. Lori Buckley (www.DrLoriBuckley.com) discussed relationship and life transitions – personally and clinically. Both docs have had partners/husbands who have died. Dr. Lori observed that either you fall into the void or you find meaning. A metaphor for life after loss is both powerful and apt: Think of it as a scattered jigsaw puzzle, where the pieces of one’s former life have been scattered and now must be reconfigured in a new way. Even smaller stressors can take their toll. The vast majority of us will be faced with one or more major traumatic stressors during a lifetime. Resilience can help with that. Dr Lori likes to focus “above the line” with more positive thoughts, mindfulness, and embracing change. Positivity expands awareness, begetting more positivity – more noticing, more engagement, more appreciation, and more trust. Little actions help build a reservoir of goodwill as we grieve, and keep our ongoing relationships replenished. This is an inspirational program!  

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There’s a reason fairy tale’s always end in marriage. It’s because nobody wants to see what comes after…it may be too grim. Brad Coates (www.CoatesandFrey.com) knows much about marriageand divorce, and is the author of “DIVORCE with DECENCY” – soon to be  in its Fifth Edition. Dr. Diana and Brad reviewed some of the factoids in his book, including, “Men are usually the first to say ‘I love you.’”  Perhaps this is because they are more romantic and want more non-sexual affection, stereotypes aside. “One-half of all divorces happen by year seven of the marriage”; indeed, the “seven-year itch.” There are anthropological reasons at play. “Marital satisfaction does increase with each successive year…once you have made it past the first twenty-five years.”  John Gottman, one of the nation’s leading marriage researchers, reports that older married couples tend to behave like younger married couples outside of the bedroom – with a sense of kindness. We discussed many other aspects of Brad’s book, a book that can save your marriage! Tune in to discover the details!

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