Archive for August 2017

Great sex is not about technique. It’s about integrating your head, heart and spirit with your genitals. Dr. Nancy Sutton Pierce (www.drnsp.com) returned to the program to help sort this out. Next month, September 16th, she will be a speaker at Catalystcon (www.catalystcon.com). Her topic: “Sexy Doesn’t Have An Expiration Date.” Dr. Diana interviewed Dr. Nancy, covering the following topics: How do we define sexy and why is it even important? What happens to us when we don’t feel sexy? (Depression, health issues). She does some Myth Busting – namely, SEXY IS A LOOK OR SIZE; YOU CAN’T BE SEXY OVER 50; YOU CAN’T BE SEXY AND A GRANDMOTHER; IT’S NATURAL TO LOSE INTEREST IN BEING SEXY AS YOU AGE. Good sex is not about how your body looks or how you position it. It’s about your frame of mind and the emotional connection with your partner. Many older women are able to say what they want, no longer apologizing for their eroticism. The enjoyment of sex is then likely to be increased! Dr. Nancy also asks, “What advice would you give to your much younger self?” Perhaps it is that instead of getting someone to love you, you want to be someone capable of loving! Or maybe it is important to maintain your sense of separateness – not always doing everything together, and understanding that the central agent of eroticism is the imagination. You must be willing to take risks, to play! As we age, many of us hope for this: with any luck, a modicum of health, and a willingness to remain open to its potential, the deliciousness of sensual intimacy can continue right to the end.

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Brad Coates (www.CoatesandFrey.com) knows all about marriages and divorce because he’s been a divorce lawyer in Honolulu, Hawaii for forty years. His popular book “DIVORCE with DECENCY” is now in its 5th Edition. Dr. Diana and Brad, longtime friends, discussed how the internet, social media, and porn have all contributed to the unraveling of marriages. Complaints about porn use constitute the number-one problem walking in the door of many couple and sex therapists today – a direct measure of the power that privacy afforded by handheld devices has to disrupt intimate relationships. Couples almost never discuss their sexual desires; some studies show that couples who view pornography together as partners find it easier to discuss their sexual desires and fantasies. As always, communication is key. Brad brought up teledildonics, a way to recreate the feelings of real (virtual) sex. Will this virtual reality sex replace real life sex? It may be on the horizon for some. Back to reality: in order to avoid divorce, never stop courting. Do not take your mate for granted, never get lazy in love!

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Dr. Dudley Danoff, MD, FACS, a world renowned urologist, returned to the program. His newest book edition just came out today: “Male Sexual Health – How to Stay Vital at Any Age” – www.theultimateguidetomenshealth.com. There are many praises for Dr. Danoff’s book – including this from Larry King:  “Gives insightful, accurate, humorous, and knowledgeable answers to all the questions you were afraid to ask. I loved it, learned a lot, and highly recommend it.” Dr. Danoff and Dr. Diana discussed his 5 ways to reinvigorate your love life: 1. keep boredom out of the bedroom; 2.give yourself permission to try something new; 3.pay attention  to your body’s rhythms; 4.don’t confine sex to the nighttime; 5. look into alternate sex practices. The key to an exciting sex life is novelty – we all crave new and different experiences. A skilled lover plugs into a woman’s breath and pelvic thrusts to follow her lead. Seduce a woman’s mind…women are like crockpots – they take time to warm up. If a man seduces her mind, she’ll want the man to seduce her body later on. Great sex is an emotional connection – with good skills backed by informed knowledge. Tune in and buy his book. You won’t regret it!

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Hedonism…Yes! Dr. Nancy Sutton Pierce (www.drnsp.com) is a sex and relationship author, and international speaker, and a sensuality educator. She knows good sex is intentional, not spontaneous. It’s a practice you can have fun with and get better at, like yoga or meditation. Dr. Nancy is an event coordinator for the Hedonism Resort (www.hedonism.com) – a 36-year-old resort that has the largest repeat visitors in the world. Every week has a different “personality”: for swingers, for couples doing an intimacy retreat, for singles to learn about rejection, etc. The website will reveal more; however, keep in mind the images there are of models…the actual age range is 45-55 years. And some are older. The prevailing themes are authenticity, non-judgmental feelings and acceptance. Often these folks have discovered how refreshing and liberating it is to put aside notions of “normal” sexual behavior, forging their own. Dr. Nancy will return to this program August 29th. We’ll discuss the cruises, Lifestyles take overs, where she teaches. Dr. Diana and Dr. Nancy will also talk about her presentation coming up at CatalystCon in LA September 16th on “Sexy Doesn’t Have an Expiration Date.” Tune in!

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